I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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