All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
