4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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