Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
