Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
