Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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