Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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