She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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