I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
