David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
