Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
