guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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