I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
