Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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