I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
