i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
