Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
