I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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