Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
