Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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