i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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