I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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