I love black thongs
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
