Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize