he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
