what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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