remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
