Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
