I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Four minutes until I can fart!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
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I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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