So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize