If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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