So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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