My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
handjob tips. give me some.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
