Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
