Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You can't just leave with hair like that
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Couch. On fire.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
