I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize