Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
