Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
