party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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