i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I need water and some morals
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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