worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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