Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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