woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize