dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize