So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
