Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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