Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
