I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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