Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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