I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
