hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize