I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I will be naked everywhere
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
