Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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