Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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