we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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