u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
