you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
