Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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