I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
