I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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