I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
