Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
