Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
