Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the day after is always just damage control
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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