He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize